Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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