I just saw a hot homeless man
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize