I accidentally had phone sex last night
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
