Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
