the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
operation have a gay friend backfired
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
