allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
