lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
