Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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