Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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