The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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