I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize