i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.