So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me