i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here