i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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