u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
