college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
