I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize