Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
