I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
