dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize