haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
