I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
