Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
