i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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