His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
