his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
