I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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