I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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