she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
