And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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