guys are only as good as the porn they watch
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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