I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
