Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
