You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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