I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
