We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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