if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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