I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
