So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize