P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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