TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
