Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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