areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
