i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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