drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
