She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize