Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
