whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
