Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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