So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
