fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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