oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
