i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
