I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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