i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
