Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
