So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
