Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
