Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
