I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
